I stood in a spot today. This spot is almost 2000 miles from my home. Yet, it’s somewhere I had stood 10 years ago.
As I was standing there, staring into a dark, cold cave; the hot sun beating down on my back, I began to reminisce. I was thinking of who I was 10 years ago, and how I ended up back in the same place.
When I was 14 I embarked on a three week adventure circling the southwest with my Dad, brother, and step-family. I had just finished my freshman year of high school, a milestone in and of itself and even more so considering the troubles I was having academically. Of course, going through my phase of teenage angst, I was listening to metal music, spiking my hair, and being a typical moody teen as well.
Of all of the memories on that trip I distinctly remember driving down the desolate road of I-40. With my earphones tucked in tight, music blaring at ear piercing volumes, I was fast at work writing lyrics for music I had just written. At this point, I may be speaking to a few close and old friends that may remember “Childhood Memories.” For those that don’t know, it is a sorry about a boy who loses his father in a car accident. What no one knows is I wrote it imagining the car accident on I-40 near this area.
But in any case…
It’s funny that a decade ago I wrote “Childhood Memories” which is quickly becoming a memory of my childhood; how it, like many things, is becoming a symbol of times past.
I stood at the entrance of the ice cave, this time without my family and alone. I was there not at as a high school student with substandard grades, but as a soon to be graduate of pharmacy school.
I have grown so much that I can’t even comprehend how I have gotten here. I can’t seem to make sense of the changes that have gone on, some of which I knew where going to happen a decade ago, and how they have shaped me.
I stood in a spot today where I was separated from 14 year old self only by the time that had pasted. And, for a brief second, as if I had teleported back in time, I saw who I used to be. It was at that instant I simultaneously saw who I was, who I am, and who I might be. Then something clicked. I remembered something I wrote in Childhood Memories, “Something so perfect and then something went wrong.” I realized I couldn’t have been more wrong 10 years ago. Many, many things have gone wrong, but I ended up both happier and better off because of them.
Pictures to come!